I want to take a few minutes to talk about self esteem. More specifically, my problems with self esteem.
Why is it that my self esteem is based on how I feel about the way I look? Generally, when I think about myself and how others perceive me, I think about the extra weight I’m currently carrying around my midsection and the dark under eye circles I can’t get rid of. At the gym last night, I walked passed a skinny girl on the treadmill and thought to myself, “I want to be her.” Really, Jillian?! You want to be this girl just because she’s got a great body? I don’t know ANYTHING about this girl, yet I tell myself that I want to be her.
Why can’t my self esteem be tied to the fact that I’m a good person, living a very lucky life? I’m 25 and I live in a beautiful home I bought by myself. I live with an amazing man who loves me and wants to build a life with me. I have two healthy dogs that bring a great amount of joy to my life. I have a wonderful family that supports me constantly. I’m a college graduate with an amazing job at the state’s #1 rated news station. I make enough money to be able to go out with friends whenever I want. My life is so bright, yet all I can seem to concentrate on is the way I look.
I want to make an effort to change that. I don’t want to define myself by my looks. I want to grow my self esteem by thinking about how lucky I am to be living the life I have. I want to think about all the people who love me, not because of what I look like, but because of who I AM.