Challenging Myself to Make Me Happy

In the last couple months, I’d been struggling with feeling bored. Everyday life had become so monotonous and predictable, it was driving me crazy! I developed “green grass syndrome,” where I was noticing everyone else’s exciting, fun lives and getting jealous. When I say I was struggling, I mean struggling. I’d come home from work and immediately be in a crappy mood. The last thing I wanted to do every night was cook dinner and hang out at home. I kept thinking about the life I’m working towards- marriage, family, adoption. It seems so wonderful, but so far away. I was feeling stuck in my current routine.

Finally I got fed up and decided to make a change. If I want to be satisfied with my life, I need to make it fun and exciting. I need to stop comparing my life to other people’s. I need to concentrate on the now, as apposed to looking longingly into the future. I’ve changed my mindset, and the last couple weeks have been awesome.

Alex and I are reconnecting and having fun just hanging out together. I’m excited to come home and see him, even if I know we’re just going to be lazying around all evening in front of the TV. I’ve just been enjoying his company, which is reminding me why he’s one of my favorite people in the world. And instead of feeling stuck, like I’m waiting for our future to happen, I’m enjoying our now. There’s plenty of time to think about our future, but we’re never going to be younger and less tied down than we are right now. And lately Alex has been talking about our wedding and our future house and our future children, which is making me excited about getting there- the process of getting there, not just being there.

Instead of just sitting around, hoping to have an exciting summer, I’m making it happen! We have two out-of-town, over-night trips planned with friends in the next two months. And this weekend Alex and I planned a mini vacation for just the two of us. We’ve been talking about wanting to go to St. Louis for a couple years now, and we’re finally going. (The Backstreet Boys playing there just offered that extra little push we needed.) It’s a short, three day trip, but it’s going to be great.

I put that flower bed in, and I really love watering it everyday and watching it grow. And we planted grass a while back, and it’s starting to sprout- it’s crazy how proud I feel about our baby grass! I’m finding the fun in every day life again. It’s truly amazing how a mindset change has turned my outlook around.



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